YOUNG AT HEART
Joel Van Horne
I've always been young at heart
Right from the very start
Dreaming of where wild things are
And hitching my wagon to stars
I'm pinching my hands 'til I'm sure that I'm still alive
Watching the sand slip through my fingers, I've been
Abandoning safe bets for fleeting highs
Hoping the ocean won't take what's materialized too soon...
I've always been an old soul
Empty has always been full
Lost is my own kind of found
And silence, my favorite sound
I'm pinching my hands 'til I'm sure that I'm still alive
Watching the sand slip through my fingers, I've been
Abandoning safe bets for fleeting highs
Hoping the ocean won't take what's materialized too soon...
A LOVE SINCERE
Joel Van Horne
In the summer of my seventh year
I was overcome with a love sincere
Quiet forests around the still blue waters
There before us, a single moment taught us
We will always know where the tall grass grows
And the sun makes a window in the clouds, where the shadows fill with light
In another life I was a flower in a meadow
Sipping soil in the hills of Colorado
We will always know where the clocks hands slow
Where the wild winds blow 'cross the Medicine Bows
We were young and bright eyed
Standing still and tongue-tied
Hearing music for the first time
Symphonies conducted by the swaying grass on the hillsides...
Staring in to dying embers, forever we thought we'd be the flames
We promised we'd remember, and like the evergreens we would never change...
MISSING PARTS
Joel Van Horne
Light a fire, this cold night has only just begun
And I'm a liar for when I told you that soon we would see the sun
I require a better reason than running just to run
So light a fire, and we just might escape this web we've spun
Somewhere out there in the dark
I still believe we'll find our hearts
And all we'll need's a tiny spark
To get 'em started and all our missing parts
Will be put back again
Only just yesterday we were slowly dying
Yeah, the rust was covering up the truth that we were trying
It's not enough to chop the tree and burn its bleeding limbs
When the dust settles, it's you and me still stuck beneath our skin
Somewhere out there in the dark
I still believe we'll find our hearts
And all we'll need's a tiny spark
To get 'em started and all our missing parts
Will be put back again...
I will love you like the kids do
no one else has a clue
I will love you like the kids do
cause no one else has the slightest clue
I will love you like the children do
no one else has a clue
I will love you like the kids do
cause no one else has the slightest clue
WHO COULD CALL ME WRONG?
Joel Van Horne
It's gonna happen, like it or not
Look all around you, the fire has caught
It's moving up through your ceilings and floors
No time to look through your closets and drawers
Out of the windows, with the black smoke
Goes the last hope of ever going back
You couldn't hold on, I wouldn't let go
But who could call me wrong?
Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust
Sometimes the last thing you want to do is the first thing you must
No use in dreaming of joining the choir
When you've been living in a building on fire
Out of the windows, with the black smoke
Goes the last hope of ever going back
You couldn't hold on, I wouldn't let go
But who could call me wrong?
The ground gave out and down it came
And all our tears couldn't drown the flames
THESE TEETH
Joel Van Horne
These teeth were made to cut, I
Have not forgotten but I
Don't use them like I should, I
have let them go dull
The sharp blade I'm holding on to
It was made to cut and tear through
All that would stand and try to
Tame my animal
I'm perched up high, scanning the plains
Through these bloodshot eyes, cold as the falling rain
There's an old black car coming up in the driveway slowly
And he's holding up a sign for me
Singing 'who you are is only what you remember of me'
Can't put my finger on it, I turned my head but never saw anything
There are white lines on westbound pavement
And bright signs shouting destinations
It's no surprise then if I should decide just to see what's there
And there's an old ghost walking out there somewhere
Along the coast of the middle of nowhere
And I've been closer than most might think to becoming his heir
I'm perched up high, scanning the plains
Through these bloodshot eyes, cold as the falling rain
There's an old black car coming up in the driveway slowly
And he's holding up a sign for me
Singing 'who you are is only what you remember of me'
Can't put my finger on it, I turned my head but never saw anything
MY SEARCH PARTY
Joel Van Horne
I've been clinging to the life raft under me
I've been lost out on the open sea
I've been waiting here to meet my search party
While you've been standing, all this time, right in front of me
No matter what, however near or far
No matter where you are, I will always be close to you
Whichever way you take, no matter where you wake up
I will always be close to you...
I've been hanging from this limb, about to give
Looking down with only seconds left to live
I've been searching for a way to cut me free
While you've been standing, all this time, right in front of me
No matter what, however near or far
No matter where you are, I will always be close to you
Whichever way you take, no matter where you wake up
I will always be close to you...
HATCHET
Joel Van Horne
Won't you steer the wheel steady
And lead us home, leave the last city far behind
Out there's a stillness standing ready
Like a treasure for a lucky few to find
We'll fix our gaze in one direction
So our veins don't become tired and destitute
I found my fuel to be no different
From the water feeding up thirsty willow roots
Slip down deep in a dream, make it last 'til it seems like the truth
Moments are passing too fast now, see my last hours die like the spring flowers of my youth
And all too soon I will be following suit
In a dear and distant memory, forever our bones belong to a day on down the line
And like the mirror ponds and meadows, our heads and hearts in shadows of the pines
We'll take our moments like the monarchs, and our songs will all have sweet and bitter ends
And like the rusty cans and ruins, we'll become dust and dandelions on the wind
Slip down deep in a dream, make it last 'til it seems like the truth
Moments are passing too fast now, see my last hours die like the spring flowers of my youth
And all too soon I will be following suit
Swing the hatchet, aim for the roots
Break the branches and pile them to the roof
It's all we have, this chance to start again
So strike the matches, before the rain begins
In broken fences, I found the frames
To put my portraits and carve my names
To places out past where our eyes can never see
I promise to look for you if you say you'll look for me...
FOREST FIRE
Joel Van Horne
Blank, my paper folded up for flight
But gravity just pulled it down
All soiled and worn, a leaf reborn
To feed the swarms, and I sold it out
Then sank with all the buoyancy of breath
As it's exiting my heavy chest
When all is set a'blaze despite the ways
You try and change its progress
When chance lit the forest on fire and leveled all we'd
Come to love and admire, up through the black floor
Green stems grew up higher, and from that day we knew
That flowers would bloom...
Loose the knot and cut us from the cloth
These nets that caught our hungry stares
And showed us sight so plain, as right as rain
The joy and pain of breathing air
So open up your lungs and fill them up
The songs I have sung, they started there
And this, our hallowed ground now burning down
The fate our hearts were bound to share
When chance lit the forest on fire and leveled all we'd
Come to love and admire, up through the black floor
Green stems grew up higher, and from that day we knew
That flowers would bloom...
ONE NIGHT
Joel Van Horne
Maybe we could get lost
Yeah, we could be across the borderline
By this time tomorrow as the sun goes down
I heard they've got a place there
That no one's bought or claimed their own
Just the endless open world with no one around
I just want to feel like we're the last two people alive, for one night
A long way from home, surrounded by the simple unknown, for one night
Honey, we've been spending
All our time just ending days
In an all too ordinary kind of way, of late
And honestly, I miss you
I wanna see your face all framed
By the starlit skies, and see the ocean in your eyes
As we wait for the sun to rise
I just want to feel like we're the last two people alive, for one night
A long way from home, surrounded by the simple unknown, for one night
One day divides us, the lights fade behind us as we drive through the great wide open
Northbound as far as this solid ground can take us, 'cause we're alive
And our eyes are wide with a hope in 'em
MY PARADISE
Joel Van Horne
I'm leaving this morning, for I don't know where
Why? I'm not exactly sure, or even if I care
There's been a knocking on my door, but when I look no one's there
But the air untamed, unbridled, and unaware
Long forgotten, good and lost
No trail's been trodden, no range has been crossed
Time's been frozen, veiled in ice
This might be my paradise
I could wear my fingers down to the bone
Playing and singing, bound for nowhere known
Up above the tree line, surrounded by sky and stone
It might be that finally I have found a place to call my home
Long forgotten, good and lost
No trail's been trodden, no range has been crossed
Time's been frozen, veiled in ice
This might be my paradise, yeah this might be my paradise...
© 2013 - Joel Van Horne (BMI) All Rights Reserved.
A Kind of Revelation
WHERE TO BEGIN
By Joel Van Horne
Where to begin?
With the spring time coming around again
We were drenched in color, it was all we had for medicine
Through melting snow
We could see the green begin to grow
Every seed of summer was waiting for the wind to blow
And the cold will come again
Like the whole thing never happened
Like the story hadn’t passed the point of no return
We may never learn
Where were you when
We were still naïve and innocent?
Clinging to each other, not a tired root in the loose sediment
But who wants to know?
Every current has an ebb and flow
And you never know when the uplift will turn to undertow
Maybe I’ll be better then
Like the whole thing never happened
Like the story hadn’t passed the point of no return
We may never learn
We may never learn…
SIRENS OF THE SEA
By Joel Van Horne
Morning came golden like the universe was holding kerosene
And Apollo flicked his cigarette
All proud and mighty, trying to bluff out Aphrodite with the queens
But she always has the bigger bet
Like the Sirens of the Sea were singing for me
There’s no use in hiding that the trident of Poseidon was your crutch
Like everything you touched was water
Out on the high seas, trying to catch a glimpse of Pisces in the rough
But she spit out everything you brought her
Like the bells of the St. Marie were ringing for me
Like a seaborne symphony was suddenly sounding
And our hearts were the timpani quietly pounding
STONE AND CLAY
By Joel Van Horne
If only this train was bound for glory
If only this heart was made of gold
If only these words could tell the story
Of the kid that kept from getting old
But these pages will burn and blow away
And their ashes will turn to stone and clay
If only this train was bound for glory
If only these eyes could see it plain
The dust that settles in the early morning
Will be buried by the evening rain
But these pages will burn and blow away
And their ashes will turn to stone and clay
Nothing is carved in stone
Nothing is carved in stone
Nothing is carved in stone
Nothing is carved in stone
Nothing is carved in stone
Nothing is carved in stone
GIANTS
By Joel Van Horne
Among the giants, I was lying just to try and measure up
Playing David and Goliath, acting like there never was
Something that separates the mighty from the broken winged dove
And I might find it out there hiding, if I was looking hard enough
I’ve spent enough time up against the ropes, just praying for the bell
So I know when to pick the stone up, and when to run like hell
While all the swarms, they swam the channel, I was standing ankle-deep
Paying dearly for admission, while they were getting in for cheap
Clinging tightly to the guard rails, watching lovers take their leap
Singing “I won’t wet my coat tails”, trying to steal a few more feet
And I learned it all from listening to the nocturne of the trees
So I know when to put my fists up, and when to whisper please
Out on the prairie I was praying for a baptism by rain
For all the cherry trees to tremble in some kind of biblical refrain
Like from the moment the first drops fell on my face, I’d feel a change
And then my eyes would train their focus on the words and not the page
But I was taking it all for granted, like the sky would never dry
So I know when to take it all in, and when to close my eyes
Among the giants, I was lying just to try and measure up
Buying time before they noticed there’s just no way I’d make the cut
Looking straight-faced in the line-up, holding out my empty cup
When a giant dropped his coin in, before my hand could close it shut
I’ve seen a flower find its footing in the barren desert soil
So I know when to let it die down and when to bring it to a boil.
PASSING THROUGH
By Joel Van Horne
Suddenly, the spring was the summer
Out of the blue, everything was another color
Looking through the glass at you
I could see my own reflection
Next to you, looking back in the same direction
Then your train pulled out of view
Was it everything you thought?
Cut the cold hand from the knot
(and forget what you were taught)
Back when silence didn’t ring
But it just somehow seemed to sing out
If it was something I could bring back now…
Bathed in a light that seemed everlasting
Until the night it was bright red, flashing blue
I guess we’re all just passing through
Guess we’re all just passing through
We’re all just passing through
CAMINO REAL
By Joel Van Horne
Morning came blurry to watery eyes
Westbound I-80 as the drunken crow flies
We rang every bell down Camino Real
And sang every sad song ‘til every star fell
And it’s coming in waves down this royal highway
I can almost make out your name in the constellations
Cause there’s all kinds of ways that the notes find their staves
Just look at all those words on the page getting lost in translation
Clouds hug the coast like their leaving for good
And Vollebekk’s calling “she’s just like a book”
She promised she’d warn ya if it wasn’t enough
But old California’s been calling your bluffs
And it’s coming in waves down this royal highway
I can almost make out your name in the constellations
And there’s all kinds of ways that the lost can be saved
Just counting all those cracks in the pavement, looking for salvation
GHOST OF KEROUAC
By Joel Van Horne
One of these days I’ll wake up
And one of those waves will catch the light just right
The storm will break up, and the heavens will ignite
One of those things they told us
Would never come true just went ahead and did
And the light that holds us turned us back to wide-eyed kids
Like a dead poet come back, like the ghost of Kerouac
Like the ocean you’ve been staring at
Is just a photograph she gave ya
And the shores that you swore you were standing on
Were just a story that you’ve been telling wrong
And you’ve been dwelling on the last line
Like it’s somehow gonna save ya
One of these days I’ll wake up
And all of these words will fall right in to place
Just for the sake of giving time a little space
One of these days I’ll make up
For all of the breath I’ve wasted on the rain
And the space I take up won’t be taken in vain
Like a dead poet come back, like the ghost of Kerouac
Like the ocean you’ve been staring at
Is just a photograph she gave ya
And the shores that you swore you were standing on
Were just a story that you’ve been telling wrong
And you’ve been dwelling on the last line
Like it’s somehow gonna save ya
MINER OF THIS HEART
By Joel Van Horne
Miner of this heart, black with soot and dark with stain
Been pushing up these empty carts, been betting on these empty veins
Miner of this heart, breathing in what could one day kill me
Playing every part of this bittersweet symphony
But oh, every once in a while
Oh, I can hear the violins
Slowly, the light comes shining in
And the low flame that flickered turns to sunlight on my skin
When the stars are veiled, or just altogether imagined
When it’s hard to tell whether what you got’s even worth having
And the only thing turning gold is the leaves in autumn
And it’s hard to sing when you’re standing all the way at the bottom
But oh, every once in a while
Oh, I can hear the violins
Slowly, the light comes shining in
And the low flame that flickers turns to sunlight on my skin
A KIND OF REVELATION
By Joel Van Horne
I remember when a song was a kind of revelation, some sort of magic
In the low light, listening close, trying to hear Beethoven’s ghost, come through the static
Out of sight and out of mind, hid away for someone to find, up in the attic
Dust if off and watch it glow, take it back to when it all wasn’t so automatic
Now the angels huddle around the upright in the corner of the room
Like they’ve stumbled on the sweetest song, just to play it out of tune
Hear the preacher call out promises that nobody believes
Yeah, we’re climbing up the treetops, just to fall down with the leaves
Were we making up everything? And now we’re waking up from a dream, like it never happened
Scan the stations and turn the dial, can we fake it just for a while? and try to imagine…
That the angels crowd the streets and croon in a perfect harmony
And I’m not out here, frozen like the words I couldn’t bring myself to be
All the preachers drank their Matadors and passed out in the park
Where the light won’t be mistaken for a flash out in the dark
Covenhoven (self-titled)
"The Wild And Free"
In a past life, in the last light of a
Summer twilight, we were standing above the
Grand Canyon, holding on to each other
Hand in hand, we were awestruck by the colors
Then you asked me if I had another chance
Would I pass you by… never give a second glance?
Well I would do it all over, I would do it all over
I would do it all over, I would do it all over
SEE YOU IN THE SPRING
I’ll disappear into the trees
To parts that no one ever sees
And if you hear the faint release of my voice
Know that I will sing much louder in the spring time
These melodies that cling to life in the winter
Will blossom with the columbine and aster
When snow’s left lingering…
And we’ll be blinded by the daylight
Yes, we’ll always find it hiding right in the place we left it
Just hibernating…
I’ll disappear out on the open ocean
This sober fear and drunk devotion
Are all that I’ll be taking with me, by choice
But know that I will sing
It loud and clear, cause you found me here
And this sound will steer us home
See you in the spring, I'll see you in the spring...
BLIND SPOTS
With all our pains replaced with scars
Like planes mistaken for the stars
We set out hungry like some borrowed drifter’s appetite
Colored push-pins stuck in paper maps
And spinning globes, like turning laps
Had us all believing that we were satellites
Cause see those blind spots are beautiful
And I’ve got to see them for myself, not
Through someone else’s lens
Oh, this passenger plane will be our traveling train
But either way we won’t be chained up again
And we’ll be pavement-chasing troubadours
Up through the peaks and down to the shores
Cause every place we’ve never seen before’s still waiting
Let’s go always where the weather’s changing
Forever leaving, never saying goodbye ‘til the music’s playing
Off the pages…
Cause see those blind spots are beautiful
And I’ve got to see them for myself, not
Through someone else’s lens
Oh, this passenger plane will be our traveling train
But either way we won’t be chained up again
THE WILD AND FREE
I’ve been closing my eyes to see
All the places I’d rather be
We belong in fields of wildflowers
Just losing count of all the days and hours
Let’s tell everyone we’re leaving
Just vanish for no good reason
I heard there was better breathing
Out there in the wild and free, cause there is a child in me
I’ve been pacing this same old trail
Feels like I’m chasing some unholy grail
We belong to a wild, untethered wind
With our fates like feathers, weathering what ever’s up ahead
Let’s tell everyone we’re leaving
Just vanish for no good reason
I heard there was better breathing
Out there in the wild and free, cause there is a child in me
I hope these holes in our clothes
Will help us keep from growing old
And let the cold in just enough
To keep us holding on to who we love
And I know this heart was meant for something more
And I know we’re farther gone than ever before
And it all just came into focus
And now we’re standing in the rain, just letting it soak us
Let’s tell everyone we’re leaving
Just vanish for no good reason
I heard there was better breathing
Out there in the wild and free, cause there is a child in me
LANTERN
Well, it’s the way it goes like the hungry crows
Combing the endless highway graves
And like the drifter throws up his thumb and goes
Hoping to find the high he craves
And like the ocean shows us what she knows just
Down below the waves
When you’re both the captain calling out and the crewmen crawling out
Just looking up, amazed
Isn’t it always the things you try for can float just out of reach
Just a mirage that fades out moments before breaking through the breach
Well I guess you pick your poison, and mix the oils and
Water like it will
'Cause it’s a drink of joys and pains and toils
Only the lucky ones can spill
And if you feel like running from the fate that’s coming for you
Well you might just get in line
When you’re both the engine turning and the sparkplugs burning out
With just one more hill to climb
Isn’t it always the things you try for can float just out of reach
Just a mirage that fades out moments before breaking through the breach
And wasn’t it fall then winter, spring then summer twenty times at least?
And doesn’t it all feel like the perfect sunrise, but your back’s turned to the east?
So raise your glass with me
These days are passing us by
No use in asking why
'Cause we’re all fastened to the mast, and
Last I looked, we’re just casting hooks in the wind
Like something is bound to bite
Like the moth is bound to the lantern's light
GO EASY
Go easy on me, dear
I’ll be there soon
For three seasons, gone wayfaring
But I’ll rest come June
And if I leave a sign behind me
Will you try to come and find me?
Through the pines and the snow
Through the tall grass and woodlands
Will you follow my footprints?
To the place that only we know
Go easy my darling one
The sea is calm now
There’s no pleasing our restless bones
Save chasing the sun
And if I leave a sign behind me
Will you try to come and find me?
Through the pines and the snow
Through the tall grass and woodlands
Will you follow my footprints?
To the place that only we know
Follow all the traces that we left
All over the places that we used to know
With only a path through the pines
We could go back and find what we lost
Somewhere along the line
SCARS (WHAT WE'RE MADE OF)
You wear those scars like proof
That you have lived the truth
'Cause we are meant to fade
It’s what we’re made of
A fragile fleeting turn
A candlestick that’s burning
And I’ve been learning how to wake up, to wake up
And so, it’s like you’ve always been told
The fire won’t keep you from the cold
But it can glow enough to save us
And though it’ll flicker and spark
The light won’t keep you from the dark
But it will show you what you’re made of, what you’re made of
Do you remember when we were ten and still trying
To pretend that we would never be older
Well I remember the cut and I saw your blood and you were crying
All of a sudden we were a little bit colder
And so, it’s like you’ve always been told
The fire won’t keep you from the cold
But it can glow enough to save us
And though it’ll flicker and spark
The light won’t keep you from the dark
But it will show you what you’re made of, what you’re made of
With parts in disrepair, and the fix was temporary
We were speeding on the spare
With our hearts just spilling out, it was all that we could carry
We were needing proof beyond the shadow of a doubt
And so, it’s like we’ve always known
We’ll all be reaping what we’ve sewn
And we won’t be keeping what we’ve saved up
And these scars are proof that we were here
That we were young and free of fear
And we grew old enough to find out
What we’re made of
THE MEDICINE
Do you remember the first time
Somebody told you to forget everything you know?
Like it was all in the last life
And now it’s time to move on and let it go
Well I guess we should’ve known better than to question it
I guess we should’ve known better than to swallow the medicine
We should’ve known better than to shut it out
I guess we should’ve known better than to let it in
It could’ve been us in the backseat
It could’ve been us just keeping to ourselves
Like it was all in a daydream
And we can almost remember how it felt
And the way we looked out the windows
And saw the world pass through our reflections
I never thought we could lose our way
I never thought we’d be asking for directions
We should’ve known better than to question it
We should’ve known better than to swallow the medicine
I guess we should’ve known better than to shut it out
We should’ve known better than to let it in
It was the last thing I heard you say
That it’ll happen anyway
No matter what you do or say
It’s gonna happen anyway.
© 2015. All lyrics by Joel Van Horne (BMI).